Laughter from Above...

I would never consider myself good at writing or storytelling. If I remember correctly, I don't even think I scored well in Writing 101 in college.  Thinking further back, somehow in High School I was put in AP English. Yet I spent every afternoon with several other kids studying grammar because for some reason I was lousy at it.  Go figure.

So what I'm trying to say here is...don't expect some Nobel Peace Prize winning blog, a great piece of art, or even a few grammatically correct sentences. You can expect however, a candid, from the heart, down to earth account of our Journey through Adoption. I'm putting this together at the request of family and friends to keep them updated.  As well as hoping it encourages others who may also have hearts stirring, but aren't sure where to start.

So humor me.  Please.

I say Journey through Adoption because the word "adoption" sounds soo final. There is nothing final about this process, as of yet.  We don't even really know what final looks like. Except maybe how we finally go bug eyed after spending hours writing letters, or finally get done filling out or tracking down paperwork (for the current day), finally work/rework finances (again..for the current day), finally get over the awkwardness of asking friends and family for support, or finally just saying, "We've done enough for today, let it lay...".  As you can imagine, the list goes on and on.

Are we tired? A little. Are we getting discouraged? No! We've barely begun, and we've loved every minute of it! I'm hopeful we can fight off the discouragement we hear plagues many by reminding ourselves of all the little accomplishments along the way, and looking at each of them as progress, and one step closer to bringing Haile home!

As many of you know, our journey started a few years ago when we decided we wanted to expand our family beyond my husband's two beautiful daughters.  Even before we were married, we started making preparations as we knew time was ticking (for at least one of us ;). We needed to MOVE on this process! Not only because Brandon needed to have a reversal (or TWO), and those can take time to work themselves out, but this body wasn't, and isn't getting any younger!

Our hearts were stirring about adoption but we were also set on having our own child first and getting that process under way before we entertained deeper thoughts of adoption.

Oh how God had His own plan! We think we may have even heard laughter from above...

After we found out Brandon's first reversal resulted in zero swimmers, we were disappointed but still determined to expand our family on our own.  Did I say ZERO? Yes, that was Z-E-R-O. So against the urologists recommendation, my brave and loving husband went through with a second surgery with hopes to spare my body the painful and perhaps disappointing process of IVF.  And perhaps his sanity with having me on high doses of hormones! I'm not sure we'll ever know the truth to his decision, but nonetheless he made a good one!

Over a year later we got the great news that we had swimmers among us. Miracle! From there, easy peasy, right?!  I mean...we go our whole life trying NOT to get pregnant; this should be a slam dunk! Especially with someone (like me..) who is overly organized, can figure out how to get from A-Z quickly and efficiently, uses resources well, can follow a recipe to a T, and....you get the picture.  If you have all things right, it should work first try! That's what us Type-A's think anyway.

But, no...again...more laughter.

After many months of trying, we learned that my body was not, at least on a routine basis, doing what it needed to do to uphold my half of the bargain.  Many reasons why...too much training from Ironman after Ironman, not enough body fat, PCOS, hereditary reasons, you name it; speculation after speculation with a few concrete answers.  Nothing indefinite or that couldn't be worked around, but we are hoping for nature to take its course.

After many MORE months of trying, we decided to give the IUI process a shot, literally.  Not much fun with all the medication, crazy hormones and shots, but certainly worth a try!  After the first IUI, I swore off any type of fertility treatment. All those hormones wreaked havoc on my body.  We thought the process would be an easy turkey baster procedure. Boy were we humbled.

Several months later, I decided I was up to task again.  I seemed to have forgotten the pain and emotional roller coaster of it all and it seemed like a good idea.

Round 2 - no dice.  Once again, there was laughter...

This time it would take 3 or 4 months for my body to "normalize" and feel half way decent just to get out and go for a run! Running=my sanity check! We could have kept with the IUI's month after month, but who wants to go through all that.

We began to think perhaps forcing this more quickly than nature intended wasn't His plan. Rather than being stuck in disappointment, we believed it just wasn't God's time.  Maybe we were trying to force something because of pressure we felt with age, time, age of our current children...who knows.  What we did know is we needed to give fertility treatments (and me) a rest!

Giving it all a rest and letting nature take its course, adoption started weighing heavier on our hearts.  We kind of fell into some adoption seminars, or perhaps this was His way of showing us an alternate route. We're not sure, but either way, it was all becoming very clear...

We wound up at several different seminars before a chance meeting with a nice couple that owned a vacation rental in Bend where we stayed this past summer.  Their son was adopted from Ethiopia and they were more than pleased with the agency they chose, and more than happy to share their story of perseverance for encouragement.

We immediately met with Adoption Avenues and were thrilled how much support they gave to their Ethiopian orphanages. Much more than some of the other agencies we met with. We also liked that they have their own foster home in Ethiopia that we can move our child to once we accept the match.  This will provide our little girl with the greatest care possible during the months between match, meeting & finally bringing her home.

There is soo much more to this story, and many chapters already written that I will share in the coming weeks.  Thank you for all of your love and support already, we certainly need it and look to it often.

Until we meet again, I will leave you with the laughter from above.  It's all His plan and His time. No reason or time for disappointment as He has walked before us. But we do keep hearing these funny little voices saying we will likely wind up pregnant during, or just after this process...

We welcome His sense of humor and could be in for a hilarious ride!

Blessings from the Drake Family xo

P.S.  I wound up passing that class...