Detours...

I had planned to write about all of the things that kept us busy this past week. As I looked at the list, I felt overwhelmed with all the WORDS, let alone the tasks done and yet to be completed. Throw some fear in there, induced from some training we took and you have quite the hodge-podge of emotions going on. Perhaps letting that simmer for a bit is best...

Instead of waking up today to a swirl of stressful thoughts I was in awe over this last year and those who have entered, shared, and have helped shape our lives in this journey.

After moving to Portland last spring, we met a wonderful couple from selling a rug on Craigslist, of all places.  We quickly began to chat and found we had several things in common.  Truly our pups were the means to begin our friendship!  They had us meeting in a dog park, their plan! And it produced a good hour+ of human conversation!  Nothing better than watching the three of them run around, wear them out and have some good, adult conversation meanwhile.

It just struck me...for some reason I think we still owe this couple coffee!!

Melissa and Jon are a wonderful couple, career oriented and full of life and love! We quickly learned they too had been waiting, even LONGER than B and I to get pregnant. Much MUCH longer. Their perseverance and acceptance of their process and timeline gave us hope and reminded us that perhaps we were wanting this to happen far more quickly than was ever intended. We had some peace in their story and a renewed patience.

Fast forward a few months....

During our Third Thursday gathering at church, Brandon sparked a conversation with our youth pastor...over their tattoos.  His wife quickly came over to me and introduced herself, her 12 month old son, pointed over to her husband, mine, her 2 year old daughter playing with ours, and began talking about my tattoos! Lots of info incoming, with no idea what this couple or the outcome of our new friendship would bring!

Peter and Carin quickly became good friends of ours with swim get togethers, meetings at church, birthday party gatherings, the gamut. Our two girls ADORE their now 3 year old daughter and I certainly can't get enough of that baby boy of theirs with those baby blues!

We shared in how we were working on a family of our own, inquired on where they were at with theirs, if they would have more and the like.  All the while, I had strange fleeting thoughts over this couple of the ..."If ever there comes a point where we need a surrogate, perhaps Carin and Peter would accept the mission??..." variety. Why?! I have no idea. Pregnancy is NOT out for us, just a bit more challenged than we had anticipated.  I quickly pushed these thoughts aside for fear of someone thinking I was crazy, and feeling crazy over them myself!  And how in the world would you ever approach a friend, let alone one you just met, to see if they would accept this mission if indeed you wound up needing it?! No idea. Crazy. Just CRAZY thoughts!

A few months later, we all sat down to have dinner and all the girls ran off to swim and dads were right behind them. Leaving Carin and I open for some good girl time!  Carin didn't hesitate a second to bring up something that was weighing on her heart.  She had to preface it with all sorts of disclaimers, one in particular being "don't think I'm crazy for offering this..." I knew what she was about to say. I just knew.  I went along with her however and confirmed there was nothing she could ever say for me to think she was crazy, always to share what's on her heart, I'll always give an honest answer..and blahblahblah....the good girlfriend stuff.  And by all means, she was my friend and there is a certain level of crazy that comes along with it! 

She went on...explaining how surrogacy had been on her heart for some time and how after she met us  and heard our struggles she wondered herself if this could be something she could offer?  I felt a sense of relief, but also a bit crazy to admit the thoughts I had had a few months prior that I hadn't even shared with my own husband!

We talked and talked and I shared with her how I had those fleeting thoughts this past July after meeting them, but quickly shoved them aside because 1) they were incredibly insane! 2) we're not done trying on our own. Perhaps more time and a little added chub on this frame would be the perfect recipe for pregnancy! and 3) if we were up for it, we could still try IVF, with me carrying the baby. My body seems healthy enough (textbook wise) to handle a pregnancy, it's just getting there that my body struggles with.

So we shared, laughed and cried. Quite the blubbering experience before the boys came back and we gave each other the crazy eye to shush it up before they caught on.  Of course, they wanted to know what was going on.  We filled them in and they already knew, they just "wanted to hear us say it". Turds. All of us vowing it would be a wonderful experience together, but timing wasn't quite right for Brandon and I. We weren't done trying to get there on our own...

Fast forward several more months.

 

Clearly, Brandon and I were detoured and sent down this adoption path. Still looking forward to the day we become pregnant ourselves (have I told you the snide looks I've received this past week when checking out different gyms in the area? Looking for different programs and when asked what my goal is, my reply of "to gain some healthy weight" gets reactions as if I have a third eye?! Clearly they’re used to the opposite).  I know it seems funny, but trust me...when you're trying to get pregnant and battling either end of the spectrum (losing OR gaining), it's not so funny!

Anyway, as Brandon and I were lead down this Journey through Adoption, Carin and Peter were off on their own putting one foot in front of the other trying to make another couples dreams of having a family come true!  I'm amazed at their selflessness and ability to listen, trust and follow.  You can follow their surrogacy journey here if you would like:  http://simplythestork.blogspot.com/

For Melissa and Jon, we were all surprised last week of their announcement that they are now pregnant. With TWINS!!  We had no idea that they took that last step in giving IVF a try and what a miracle it has been! You can follow their journey here if you would like:  http://sternscapades.blogspot.com/

It's truly a blessing to have met and have been given the opportunity to walk along side these two wonderful couples. A triad of experience it seems...adoption, surrogacy & IVF. Their individual experiences could have perhaps been part of ours, but for now, He has sent us all in different directions. 

Truly God's grace to not get caught up in the "what about me's" or "should we have, or could we have?".  We are all working for the same outcome. Just very different paths and timing, yet have been brought together to love and support each other through it. All for the love of Family. 

Philippians 1:6 - being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion….

I believe that. And pray daily for all three of our journeys, and look forward to the day all four of these babies bless our presence.  I think they may all arrive right around the same time.

I'm certain that was part of His plan.

 

xoxo

Angela :)